In some cases, you may move through these stages linearly, or you may loop back to anger or bargaining again, for instance. Plus, everyone will move through these stages at a different pace.
Here’s our full guide to each of these breakup stages for more information.
7. Avoid contact and social media stalking
According to dating coach and founder of School of Love NYC, Monica Parikh, no contact is the best route to moving on. It should last for a minimum of 60 days, and includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media.
“It can feel like an extreme move when you’re still working to get over a breakup, but the truth is that cutting off contact with an ex is the fastest, most effective way to truly move on,” Parikh previously wrote for mindbodygreen.
Here’s our explainer on the do’s and don’ts of reaching out to an ex for more help here.
8. Create a post-breakup self care plan
Let’s just be honest: You’re going to have a lot more time on your hands once you’re newly single, and that means more time to wallow if you don’t find things to focus on.
“Even when it’s a good decision,” Spinelli says, “we might still feel sad, alone, overwhelmed and anxious, so think about what you might need after the conversation.”
Think things like connecting with friends, booking yourself a weekend getaway, or starting a new hobby. Need some inspiration? We have a full list of 50+ self care ideas to help get you started.
9. Lean on your support system
Speaking of connecting with friends, breakups are a time when your loved ones can be your greatest supporters as you move through the stages of grieving your relationship and acclimating to the transition.
Spinelli strongly recommends leaning on your friends, family, or any other trusted people in your life–whether you need a vent sesh, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to grab dinner with. That’s what friends are for, so don’t be afraid to ask for help!
10. Focus on yourself
If there’s one positive side to being newly single, it’s that you can now take all the time, love, and energy you were pouring into the relationship and give it back to yourself. Focusing on yourself can look like any number of things depending on the person, such as doing some soul searching, reigniting a lost passion, or working with a therapist.
To that end, licensed therapist LeNaya Smith Crawford, LMFT says it’s important to remember that you are a whole and powerful being, and you do not need a relationship to validate that. “Oftentimes, we get so caught up in a relationship that we lose sight of the things that make us, the individual, feel good,” she previously told mindbodygreen.
11. Work with a mental health professional
Last but not least, don’t underestimate the impact a breakup can have on everything from your mental health to your daily routine. It’s a major transition, especially if you’ve been together for a long time.
Working with a therapist can help you to not only unpack your feelings about the relationship and breakup, but also find healthy coping mechanisms and unlearn any patterns or behaviors that aren’t serving you anymore.
